Kids and Divorce

Kids and DivorceYou are miserable and  have had it with your marriage.  The decision has been made. All that is left is to tell the kids. But how? Kids and divorce seem oxymoronic. Since most people aren’t trained in the skill needed to do this well, advice is warranted. This video has some great information.

Kids and Divorce

The kids are now told and the divorce moves ahead. You are looking forward to ending the day in, day out misery of living with someone. Now you can control the remote, eat what you want, and best of all, no more arguing! Or is that true? This article is quite an eye opener.

But rarely has that been true. Most divorcees learn relatively quickly that although we’re no longer married and living together, we still have to deal with our former spouse in their continuing role as our kids’ mom or dad. He or she still has a say, and can nix our plans to move away for a new job or a new love. Divorce is no longer the end of a relationship; it’s a “restructuring of a continuing relationship.”

Which has made some of us as miserable divorced as we were in our marriage.

“People in unhappy marriages do not look to divorce as a way to restructure the relationship with their partners. They look to divorce to end that relationships, to set them free to start a new life, perhaps to move to a new location and to form new relationships,” Parkinson says.

But, not if you have kids. As Parkinson notes, “The experience of the last forty years has shown that whereas marriage may be freely dissoluble, parenthood is not.”  Read more

It seems that once kids are brought into the marriage, the rules all change for divorce. Click like below if this makes sense.

Now you are divorced and you must figure out how to communicate because you have kids to share and at very least are court-ordered to stay in a parent relationship with your ex.  Here is an idea on getting started with the basics, visitation.

The ball is rolling. No lies here, communication is going to take a lot of effort period. That is what happens when you have kids and divorce.  So much so you may even think if I have to work this hard in divorce, maybe we could have done it in marriage!

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About the author: By

Julie and Matt have been married for 23+ years and have the belly laughs and wrinkles to prove it! They are also awesome parents to five adopted kiddos and the owner of the How To Fix My Marriage website.

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Disclaimer: We are not psychologists, counselors, or therapists. We are a married couple that has had their share of challenges, and the techniques, tools, and programs we recommend on this site have worked for us on our journey.

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