How To Fix My Marriage

Couple ArguingThe fact that you’re looking at this website probably means that you’re desperate for answers and help on how to fix your marriage. If you’re at that point, please do yourself a favor – click here now for the help you need to fix your marriage!

20 years ago I was in crisis – my wife of six months had been staying at a friend’s house for three days because we’d been fighting for the umpteenth time, and I had to do something. So I loaded up all of her stuff in the back of my truck and drove over to where she was staying and dumped it in the front yard. This got the ball moving – her friend kicked her out and she went to a motel. The next day, we had 2 options on which way to go – we could have split right then and there, or we could try to work it out.

Fortunately, we chose option number 2, and I’m glad we did. Has it been easy? No. Are we fixed and blissfully happy all the time? No. Have we learned to work through our problems? We’re getting there. But we’re both committed to our marriage, and hopefully you are too.

What did we do?

Back then, there weren’t as many tools to help you fix your marriage as there are now. There was counseling – which we started immediately, and still use from time to time. We found a tape set by Gary Smalley that helped us a lot. We bought The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. We bought the book Boundaries. Each of these things helped us a little – they all added up to us still being together, and we’re now happily married and just celebrated our 20th anniversary. Do we still have problems? You bet! But we’ve got the tools to work through them.

There is a new program out called the Us Factor, and it’s helped many couples in the same situation as you to get their marriage back. The philosophy of this program is that little changes can make a big difference. Same thing we had to do way back when, but much easier. Some of the DVD titles are “Broken Promises and Disappointment”, “Resentment and Realignment”, “Feel the Sparks – Sex & Intimacy”,” You, Me and Money”, “You, Me and Sex”, and “Getting Out of the Marital Rut”.

If any of these titles sound like the problem you’re dealing with – maybe they all sound familiar – then take a look at The Us Factor right now! There is no risk – you can try it free for 30 days and send it back if it doesn’t help. What have you got to lose – other than your marriage! Want more information? Read our Us Factor Review and we’ll tell you how it’s helped us.

What if you are at the breaking up point or worse, passed it? Is there hope to salvage your relationship, no matter what the circumstances? The great answer is yes! Start by not panicking. If you begin there, you also will not make any bad decisions out of this emotional state. There is an effective reconciliation system called The Magic of Making Up. Don’t let the ridiculously low price fool you, this ebook gem is packed with everything from what to do if they have moved on to when to start having sex again during the reconciliation period.

As you can see, there are many resources that we recommend that are an asset in how to fix your marriage. And how to keep it fixed!

About the author: By

Matt is the parent (along with his wife Julie) to five wonderful kids. He has been self-employed for 25+ years and is the owner of the How To Fix My Marriage website.

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Comments

  1. Vickie Lynn says:

    Michael. I am a woman going through a rough time as well as you. I hope you just take it as my opinion and not a judgement. So this is how women work. Well me anyway. The creating a profile on a dating service just shows that maybe you want something else. In a womans eyes that what it means. If you want your wife to forgive you and forget about it then you’re wasting your time. Women sometime forgive but they never forget. The thing you do is prove to her that she is the only one you want and show her the love she needs to feel. Take the time to give her roses. Help her any way you can. Fix her breakfast in bed. Just little things can add up to a whole lot and maybe win her heart back. Leave little love notes laying around the house and let her know how much you love her. Let her know how much you want her. But dont be the same person you use to be. Some women want change and it seems to me that its just exactly what shes wanting. She probably dont want anyone else. She probably just wants you to change your ways. I hope you take my advice and have a happy marriage with your wife.

  2. Thanks for the great post. Very difficult to spend your life with someone. I’ve struggled with it for years with my wife. I stumbled upon this blog like I did yours. Thought their insight may be useful: http://burisonthecouch.wordpress.com/2009/11/09/thems-fightin-words/

    Thanks for the post! I’d love to see more like it.

  3. My husband and I have been married for three years but have been together for seven. We never got in fights. There use to be so much love between us. It slowly diminished when our daughter was born and has gotten worse since we moved to the UK. We are military and it is every day a fight. I dread everyday. I dont look forward to him coming home anymore. I just wish for other things. Please help!!

    • @Danielle: I am kind of in a similar situation, I am away from all of my family and friends I have made a few friends where I am but none that I can really confide in about things. I feel very alone and at work I feel I put up a front of the life I wish I had. I feel as if I am on egg shells just for thing to go smoothly everyday. This is not the life I wanted for us. sorry, guess I didn’t really give advice but you are not alone. :)

  4. My Husband and I have been Married for 10 years and together for 17. He is my best friend in the world. In the last 6 years I have had 5 knee surgery and one knee replacement all before I was 36 years old. During all of this my husband and I both gained a lot of weight he had gotten to over 525 pounds I had was up to 420 so we both decided to have lap band surgery on the same day. Well April 23 will be three years from our weight loss surgery, he is down to 235 pounds and I’m down to 295, It’s harder for me as I still cant walk right.

    In January he went on a trip to the Dominican Republic, He told me it was a fishing trip with a bunch of guys from work, needless to say it was a lie. Because I come to find out that he went to one of these Adult satisfaction resorts that has prostututes or what ever you want to call them. So I confronted him the day after valentines day and he tells me he loves me and I’m his best friend but isnt sure if he is still in love with me. So he asked If I could give him some time and space. He asked that we not tell anyone which is hard because I feel Family should know. As I found out that he is talking to this other chic. He tells me the reason for this is that he was big his whole life and never had anyone look at him or pay him any mind. I was the only girl that ever did and he wants to see what its like.

    I wish he would realize I am the one that was there for him at ground zero and the 9 month of clean up after, and when he had double pneumonia and almost didn’t make it, I was the one that was there with him when him mom and grandfather got cancer.

    I am so confused I have no Idea what to do or where to go. This is eating me from the in side out.

    I am even sleeping in a separate room on a futon and I’m partialy disabled. He told me he would never cheat on me and he is doing exactly what he told me he would never do.

    How can I fix this I want to save My marrige I am still in love with my husband as the day I married him.

    Thank you for your help

  5. I recently saw a testimony about a spell caster of some sort in a blog I visit for relationship and marriage counselling problems and I just thought after ripped off the previous year of almost about $580, I should try it*maybe out of desperation of some sort*..and I contacted them..Atfirst everything felt dreamy and unbelievable,their consultations and solution was a little bit easy and strange and I was scared a little cos I heard read and heard lots of stories of fake spell casters and scammers ripping people off their money..I played along with a little hope and and faith and I was sent some few stuffs after everything and it worked like a miracle,everything went to a while new direction,it was and is amazing…I guess it was all good faith that made me read That particular post that faithful day..I hope they could help other people too like they did me…I did a little and I got everything I wanted and wished for*my husband,my family and my life back*their address is;garushiraad@gmail.com

  6. I’m sure you’re inundated with e-mails like this every day but I have no idea who else to ask because I never thought I’d be in this situation.
    I live with my wife of 10 years and two children. Since 2007, I’ve lost a job, had another reduce salary 30%, moved to another state, sold a house in a short-sale, had my wife fracture her spine, and we’re living on about 60% of what I used to make with all the same old bills, along with all of the other challenges of life with a family. Huge stress.

    Through all of this my wife and I have definitly drifted apart – built our own little silos and hunkered down for all of the storms we’ve faced. My wife has been especially unhappy and it has increased in the last few months. I guess I had decided to try and live life and enjoy it in spite of our cricumstances and I’ve really invested myself in our kids.

    I took them on a weekend trip out of town to visit some friends and when I returned my wife told me she loved me but wasn’t in love with me – she’d “opened a can of worms” regarding her sexuality (we haven’t had sex since Dec 2009) that she couldn’t close again, and was seriously thinking about leaving.

    That was a couple of weeks ago – since then I know for a fact that she’s been spending some time with another man – we’ve talked about it – it’s a “professional” relationship and she insists it’s work related and that they’ve just become friends. I’m pretty convinced it’s something more but I don’t have any hard evidence – she denies it’s sexual. How do I confront her? I think she’ll just continue to deny it – she clearly isn’t willing to give it up yet (he’s married too so I don’t think there’s a long term possibility however her mother had an affair that lasted several years when my wife was in high school).

    I feel like because of our financial situation she knows she can’t leave plus she really loves our kids and doesn’t want them hurt. She says she’s conflicted and torn and doesn’t know what to do.

    I guess more importantly for me I don’t know what to do. Even if she has had a sexual affair I believe I can forgive her – I’m not angry or hateful toward her just very, very sad. I know I haven’t been the perfect husband – I have faults and failings but I am willing to work on them and our marriage but I don’t have the foggiest idea of the first step.

  7. Marriage can be wonderful and yet complicated at times. It’s one of the best partnerships that can ever be formed and one that can easily be broken by one act of unfaithfulness or betrayal of trust. I feel for anyone struggling in their marriage just to stay afloat. This should help! Best of luck to all married and future married couples.

    Cindy

  8. My husband and I have been married a little over 3 years and together for 6 years. We have always had the best relationship, but he is in the military and it is starting to hurt us. We have no children and I work as well so we don’t have bills to fight about, but he has been gone almost our whole marriage and he met someone a few months ago on base (woman in french military) and they both have someone at home, but are spending a lot of time together. He now wants to not talk to me online and says I smother him. I won’t apoligize for wanting to speak to my husband online everyday for just an hour, but he doesn’t get that. I know he is lonely, but so am I. He will be home in June and I just don’t know what is going to happen. I want him forever and I have told him that, but he keeps saying that he needs space! We have 23 hours a day between us and thousands of miles…is that not enough space?? I just wanted to see if anyone out there has been through this and can give me some advice? I just feel lost all day and I am scared to tell him how I feel or to push him, but I just wish he would understand that this is not easy for me, I have to deal with his deployment and what I consider his emotional cheating. I’m just lost!

    • @Rose:
      Rose,
      I can relate to the emotionally unfaithful way that having a relationship with another woman is technically “not cheating” but it is. It is abandonment. I am sorry that you feel lost everyday. I realized that this post if from 6 moths ago and this all may be resolved but I guess it helps me also to read your post and respond. I just so strongly relate to what you have posted, also about being afraid to say how you feel for fear of pushing him away.
      I hope that you are better, and your life is happier now.
      Sincerely
      Roserose73

  9. Katherine says:

    My husband and I have been together for 10 years and married for almost 5. We have a wonderful boy and another on the way. For a long time, I have been considering (off and on) couples therapy to help us improve the way we communicate and to help us work through some of our deeper issues that keep things from resolution. I don’t think he even realizes we have problems communicating or deeper issues. In his mind bubble, he thinks we are great and my inability to communicate well with him probably doesn’t help that. I brought up couples therapy to him a year ago; but, he shot it down since he really doesn’t think we need it.

  10. jessica boling says:

    I have been married to my husband for a little over a year and a half. We separated about 3 weeks after we got married and after the birth of our son, we decided to try to work things out. We have been back together for almost 9 months. We just bought a house and found out we are having another baby. I get frustrated with the comments he makes and feel like he has no respect for me or women. I love him with all my heart, but am at the edge of taking our son and leaving. I have had it with the fighting and arguing and do not want to raise our son around it. I need to know what I can do to make him understand that my feeling matter just as much as his feelings. He thinks that its all me and I think its all him. I know its both of us, but I dont know how to change it to make us happy again… We have been to a counselor and that only made things worst. Im out of options and ideas. I do not want to go through a divorce, he is my husband, best friend, and father of our children. I want to work it out but dont know how.

  11. mrs pope says:

    ME & MY HUSBAND BEEN TOGETHER SINCE JULY BEEN MARRIED SINCE OCTOBER. I JUS DON’T KNO WAT TO DO ANYMORE. HE SAY HE LOVE ME AND CANT SEE HISSELF WITHOUT ME. IF THAT’S HOW HE REALLY FEELS WAT IS THE NEED FOR FEMALE FRIENDS. I KNO HE CHEATED SINCE WE BEEN MARRIED. BUT HE WON’T TELL THE TRUTH.. I’VE BEEN THE BEST WIFE A MAN COULD ASK FOR. BUT I GET TREATED WRONG IN THE END. I’VE NEVER CHEATED ALWAYS BEEN FAITHFUL. I WANT MY MARRIAGE BUT HOW DO I GAIN THE TRUST BACK…PLEASE HELP!!!

  12. Kristen says:

    My husband and I have been married for 5 years, we met, dated and got married in a total of 4 months. We were happy with life, hated our jobs but still mananged to have fun and work past all those annoying things we didn’t know about each other.
    About 2 years ago we left what we knew and moved, started completly over. At first it was exciting and fresh, now it has become i’m not sure what word to use.
    We have tried for 4 years to have a child, we have had 4 miscarrages and lost a fifth when an adotption fell through. Now we still talk…but somethings different and I can’t put my finger on it…. I get so upset with him because he doesn’t help around the house but I guess what man really does, but I can’t let him get away with that, so I stay silent and he knows I’m mad. but at what point does it change, how many times do I need to get upset because I’m giving 80% and he is only giving 20% in most aspects of our marrage and life. I don’t want to say I love you but i’m not in love with you because i’m not sure thats how I feel. We both seem to just be in a bad mood all the time. What could we do to change? Is it me?

    • I would suggest taking a look at Love and Respect, the book or the DVD series. That had a lot of impact on my wife and me.

  13. http://touredtoured.co.cc/7-ways-to-fix-your-marriage/

    No matter what anyone tells you – no marriage is perfect. Just ask Alisa Bowman. She was so miserable at one point – she even planned her husband’s funeral over and over again in her mind. But instead of giving up on her relationship, she decided to brave the storm, and embark on a four-month journey to save her marriag

  14. dazedandconfused says:

    My husband and I are a blended family. We have been married for three years. He explodes with little provocation and assumes he knows what I am thinking all the time. He never wants to have sex. I always initiate. I think he only married me for help with the kids. I think he is having an affair or is homosexual. I am so tired of trying to figure him and this mess out. I do not want a divorce but I feel like I am losing myself. He makes me look like a witch in front of our kids when I ask for help with something. I clean and do yard work and work a full time job by myself. He gets to play superdad and coach and be on committees because he has time to do that stuff. WHAT DO I DO? I am miserable!

  15. My relationship with my husband began 18 years ago and we have been married for 13 years. In the beginning I was afraid to leave, in fear that he would hurt me or my family. At that time I was recently divorce with 2 children, I was 26. at 28 I was diagnosed with a serious mental illness. I believed he was responsible, that he gaslighted me. In counseling I was faced with a decision either leave regardless of the fear or stay and believe in the relationship, I chose to believe. Fast forward to 99′ we were married and moved to the Northwest to be closer to my boys who had moved with their father 1 year earlier, at this time my husband and I now had a child together. Again, in counseling my therapist met with my husband and told me she believed him to be genuine and that I should be thankful that he had stayed with me all these years and that most would not have considering my mental illness. Fast forward, ’05, my husband stopped responding to me, that is when the physical intimacy stopped. He had a emotional/intellectual relationship with a woman at work. I cared for his mother in the last 3 years of her life and I learned to live without the physical intimacy that couples should share. Emotionally I felt abandoned also, I cried many nights and when I was upset or sad he never consoled me other than to say ” I hope you feel better”, I needed him to give me a hug or something, anything. But I stayed happy because he made the effort to call me each day at lunch and sometimes leave me a note to say have a good day. I do not doubt his love for me, but since his mother passed he no longer is sweet to me. His calls and repetitive “I love you” it all feels rote and empty. Do I sound like an in-grate? I appreciate all his hard work and devotion regardless of how dis-genuine the words feel. Over the last few years he does not support my goals or encourage me in anything. I was working out and lost almost 50lbs, I was dedicated to that but when my efforts waned, it did not matter to him, no help no support. The last few months he does not respond to me intellectually, ignores me…I mean really we only share space. How can I continue to be in a marriage without anything but words, a loop….I love you, all the time, never forget. This does not feel like love. I do not know what to do, I love him in every way, he could still make me feel, feel anything if he just would see me, interaction of any sort would help. Thoughts? Am I wrong or ungrateful. Help, I really need your feedback.

  16. Johnny Martinez says:

    @michael: We have been married for 18 years I cheated 3 years ago she said she forgave me but she really did not we have been fighting for about six months she has got a job and we hardly see each other I do just about all the work in the house and my job to she said she loves me but not in love with me I told her I was sorry and it would never happen again and it didn’t we have no communication anymore we have 4 kids and I really love her I just don’t know what to do I am very miserable I don’t want a devorice but don’t know wich way to go she won’t talk to me because she don’t know how she feels I just need an anwser so I can go on I love her so much and don’t want to leave her I just need what we had before I did wrong

  17. My husband and I have been together for almost 2 year married for 4 months. Back when we were just dating everything was perfect. Then I started finding things. Facebook messages between him and other women, txt messages, Internet sex sites. Of course I have lost my trust in him. We’ve both made mistakes in our relationship. But I’m willing to try to fix things. I asked him to try marriage counseling and he said no. When I ask what he wants he tells me he doesn’t know but that he loves me. If he loves me then how does he not know what he wants??? I know I want him. I love him. I want to be together and raise our son. But anymore it’s like he’s giving up on us. And I’m heart broken. I just don’t know what to do. I want my marriage to be good again.

  18. Me and my wife have been fighting almost since the day we got married about one thing or another. Mainly its me causing the problems, this past fight I lied about talking to an ex of mine and its put our marriage on the line. I dont want a divorce, I would like to work this out. Obviously my problem is lying is there any other way to stop other than just stopping? Everyone says its so easy just have to make your mind up but….. I am a habitual liar been doing it since I was 3 years old. I need help I am not sure how to get myself to stop other than just stopping. sometimes it just seems so much harder to tell the truth than to lie about it. Good part is I am a horrible liar so i get caught every time. I have not cheated on my wife but with my lying she thinks I have. Does anyone have any suggestions about what I might be able to do. I dont want my marriage to fail I love my wife I just need a little help. I am definitely behind the 8 ball on this one. I just dont know how to fix it. I need help.

  19. My husband and I have been married almost 3 years, together for 7. I’m no fairy tale believer, I knew things would be different and hard but I feel like the hardship has come way too fast. This year something happened that brought up the possibility of infidelity. This was earth shattering on both sides. I didn’t believe for one second he had ever “stepped out” on me, but it haunts me that somewhere he doesn’t feel the same about me. Previous to this there had been talks between us, or maybe just me talking, about missing his attention. I want him just as I always have but it seems to be one sided. I’m not sure if it’s me he’s bored with, if work is a constant stress (military), or there is something else still weighing on his mind. I want to be there for him and I want nothing else then to be his wife…I just don’t know how we are supposed to fix this.

  20. I have been married for almost six years. And my husband and I have been separated for 9 months. He just up and left one day. We still see each other. We are still very intimate. But he wont move back in with me. We have not really talked about the situaion because of my fear and his confusion. I just really need some help and advice.

  21. My wife and I just celebrated our 3rd year anniversary in February. She has 4 children whom I love very much, and I have 3 that have always been #1 in my heart, mind and soul. I have always been the disciplinarian for her 4 and my 3, when they would come over. When my wife becomes stressed or frustrated, she never tells me when or what is bothering me until it is too late. We end up in a huge argument and she ALWAYS says things just to hurt or make things worse. She always states, “I love you more”, but when the argument comes, it is – “Now I know why your ex-wife divorced you” or “I would leave, but I have nowhere to go because I don’t want to be with you”. After all is said and done, she never gives a formal apology, she just states that she is human and makes mistakes, and if she didn’t love me, she wouldn’t be with me. I hold back so much anger, yet I also have a lot that I do give out when we argue. I am always told that I should never tell her to leave if she doesn’t want to be with me, but I am not going to be disrespected by her trying to say hurtful things. I don’t know how, I do love her and her kids, but I just want to make it right. What do I do? :(

  22. I’m having the same problems with my husband. We’ve been married for the past 4 almost 5 years. We got married in 2007 and as soon as i got pregnant everything went down. He started acting strange with me in so many ways. Once i gave birth to my son i started searching to his things specially his phone. I regret it so much!! :'( i found out that he had many numbers of girls that didnt knew. I search threw his texts and he had 3 texts of diffrent girls that he was writing to. I read each and one of them, it said thing that he never said to me for a whole year the word “love” . I confront him and he said sorry and that he love me very much. Ever since that day he lost my trust. So i forgave him. 3 weeks later after that incident he did it again. He told me the same stuff that he was going to change and blah blah blah. In 2010 he started working for fedex and boy he did the same thing again, but this time he started flirting with one of the girls that worked with him. By this point he stopped kissing me and not having a lot of sexual contact. All i know is that im tired of all this . Its been 4 years that ive suffer his cheatings. Ive talked to him so many times he just doesnt listen. I have 2 beautiful kids and not even that helps him. I want to leave him. I got to the point that everytime i see him all i want to do is slapping him. I cant stand him at all. Theres no trust in this relationship anymore! I dont know what to do. I want to stop arguing and having fights. I really dont know if theres any solution anymore! :(

  23. My husband and I met eachother on a dating site, after 6 month we got married. My husband is Turkish and Muslim and i am Puerto Rican raised as liberal christian and Dont follow any particular religion. We were deeply in love and the begining of the first was great until we hit some financial problems. We were living in my parents house, and some time my parents got involved especially my mom. We separated a month before our year anniversary, where I kept throwing the words divorce at him. While we were separated I went back on the dating site he found out and did the same. Problem was he also said that it was not love it was financial problem so when he left i waited a bit but being so hurt and angry I wanted to move on. Months later I realized that I didn’t want any one else but my husband. Jan 2012 I decided to talk to my husband. In the beginning he was stubborn and didnt trust me when I told him I didn’t want a divorce. He said he left because there was too much fighting and arguing as well as financial problems, I promised him i would change the fighting and work on our future. We still live separately, and its becoming difficult again. I feel like he is not giving a100% and doesn’t make much of an effort an more. I don’t know what to do. I tell him we don’t see eachother enough, when he thinks once or twice a week is enough. He became more religious, wants me to be Muslim and our future children to be muslim

  24. My husband and I met eachother on a dating site, after 6 month we got married. My husband is Turkish and Muslim and i am Puerto Rican raised as liberal christian and Dont follow any particular religion. We were deeply in love and the begining of the first was great until we hit some financial problems. We were living in my parents house, and some time my parents got involved especially my mom. We separated a month before our year anniversary, where I kept throwing the words divorce at him. While we were separated I went back on the dating site he found out and did the same. Problem was he also said that it was not love it was financial problem so when he left i waited a bit but being so hurt and angry I wanted to move on. Months later I realized that I didn’t want any one else but my husband. Jan 2012 I decided to talk to my husband. In the beginning he was stubborn and didnt trust me when I told him I didn’t want a divorce. He said he left because there was too much fighting and arguing as well as financial problems, I promised him i would change the fighting and work on our future. We still live separately, and its becoming difficult again. I feel like he is not giving a100% and doesn’t make much of an effort an more. I don’t know what to do. I tell him we don’t see eachother enough, when he thinks once or twice a week is enough. He became more religious, wants me to be Muslim and our future children to be muslim. He met Turkish Muslims where he does over night trips. I feel like a stranger in his life. He missed my birthday and brushed it off like nothing. We have opposite work schedules now that I started working so I haven’t see him in a week. He’s not making an effort. He said I don’t understand and I tell him he is not listening. He binds things like where he is going and what he is doing. Im trying not to give up. Our two year anniversary is coming in June. I really want things to work out. We have lost our passion, sex and love its not what it used to be. He used to be my partner my best friend my husband and now its like we are strangers. Please if any one can help with any advice. I don’t know what to do any more. I can feel my marriage breaking apart for good right before my eyes. PLEASE HELP!!!!

  25. My husband and I met eachother on a dating site, after 6 month we got married. My husband is Turkish and Muslim and i am Puerto Rican raised as liberal christian and Dont follow any particular religion. We were deeply in love and the begining of the first was great until we hit some financial problems. We were living in my parents house, and some time my parents got involved especially my mom. We separated a month before our year anniversary, where I kept throwing the words divorce at him. While we were separated I went back on the dating site he found out and did the same. Problem was he also said that it was not love it was financial problem so when he left i waited a bit but being so hurt and angry I wanted to move on. Months later I realized that I didn’t want any one else but my husband. Jan 2012 I decided to talk to my husband. In the beginning he was stubborn and didnt trust me when I told him I didn’t want a divorce. He said he left because there was too much fighting and arguing as well as financial problems, I promised him i would change the fighting and work on our future. We still live separately, and its becoming difficult again. I feel like he is not giving a100% and doesn’t make much of an effort an more. I don’t know what to do. I tell him we don’t see eachother enough, when he thinks once or twice a week is enough. He became more religious, wants me to be Muslim and our future children to be muslim. He met Turkish Muslims where he does over night trips. I feel like a stranger in his life. He missed my birthday and brushed it off like nothing. We have opposite work schedules now that I started working so I haven’t see him in a week. He’s not making an effort. He said I don’t understand and I tell him he is not listening. He binds things like where he is going and what he is doing. Im trying not to give up. Our two year anniversary is coming in June. I really want things to work out. We have lost our passion, sex and love its not what it used to be. He used to be my partner my best friend my husband and now its like we are strangers. Please if any one can help with any advice. I don’t know what to do any more. I can feel my marriage breaking apart for good right before my eyes.

    • Is he willing to talk to a marriage counselor? Does he feel like he wants to work on things too? It is best to determine these things so you don’t beat a dead horse, or an ended relationship.

  26. HI,
    I NEED SOME ADVICE….I AM IN LOVE WITH MY WIFE AND WE HAD SOME PROBLEMS WERE SHE DIDNT APREACIATE ME AND REALLY MADE ME FEEL BAD.WE HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR TEN YEARS AND I MET SOMEONE AND SHE FOUND OUT AND SHE MADE SOME CHANGES BUT I HAVE BEEN ACTING ON THIS RELATIONTIONSHIP TO GET HER TO SHOW ME SHE LOVES ME AND I AM HER EQUAL.I KEEP DOING THINGS SO SHE CAN FIND THEM SO SHE THINKS THERE IS ALOT GOING ON BETWEEN US AND THERE ISNT BUT I MIGHT HAVE PLAYED THIS GAME TO LONG……ANY THOUGHTS ON WHAT I SHOULD DO???…..

    • Stop playing games, might be a good start. And come clean about doing it. If you love her, you must be honest and treat her as you would want to be treated. Then you can move on to addressing the problems that got you looking around in the first place.

  27. I feel after reading these posts, I feel like I’m lokoing into a mirror. My wife and I will be married 5 years this May. Things have been hard for over a year and a half. We had twins shortly after being married and have struggled with that. I try to do the best I can but she is severely depressed. When she isn’t angry she sleeps. One small thing can get her into it and ruin days for us. I do everything possible to make things easy for her. Cook clean let her sleep, whatever it takes. I’m not willing to get a divorce and would do anything to fix this marriage. Problem is that she doesn’t believe she has a problem and I end up accepting blame even when I’m not wrong to make her happy. I wish she would see that we are worth saving and work with me. At this point I’m hoping for a miracle

  28. I think that the primary thing most couples need to do to begin to have a GREAT marriage is to commit to work at their relationship. We go to college to get a degree, and then when we get a job we go and get continuing education. Why? Simply because we need to keep on fine tuning our skills. Why do we get married and then stop tyring to learn and get better? Commit to working on your relationship and then have a goal of working at improving how close your are on a scale of one to ten. If your currently at a five, what will it take to move it to and eight or nine. Work at those things that draw you closer. Become soul mates and enjoy the richness of married life.

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Disclaimer: We are not psychologists, counselors, or therapists. We are a married couple that has had their share of challenges, and the techniques, tools, and programs we recommend on this site have worked for us on our journey.

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