How To Accept Your Spouse

My husband and I are not the same. We do not like all the same things, places or even people. This is true for most married couples. The rub comes on how you handle this. Trying to change your spouse to fit your mold seldom has positive results. Most instances, they end up feeling inadequate. What is necessary is information on how to accept your spouse and why.

How To Accept Your Spouse

How to Accept Your SpouseWe are defining our worth through the acceptance or rejection of our spouse. This is a reflected sense of self, we can only feel good about ourselves when we are propped-up by our spouse. Their rejection of our request for a more intimate relationship says more about them than it does about us or our request. Dr. Schnarch points out that People Have Sex Within The Limits of Their Development. I would go further and say that people are as intimate within the limits of their development. In other words when a spouse suggests a greater level of intimacy than their spouse has developed their reaction is to reject it and to keep it off of the intimacy menu.

This conflict, these negative feelings, are evidence that this is an area where growth is needed in the relationship. IF we can take the time to recognize this conflict and these negative emotions for what then are, a sign that we need to mature, and respond to that instead of reacting to a request for a greater level of intimacy by our spouse we are on the road to a healthier, more intimate and happier marriage. Complete article.

It is important to be confident in who you are. This is key in how to accept your spouse for who they are. And then to hear your spouse out.  If you become defensive, you lose your listening ability. And if you can see the conflict as not being about who you are but what you are doing, it can have an intimacy producing result. Listen to this explanation in the video below.

Ultimately, how to accept your spouse starts with you. If this doesn’t make sense or you aren’t even to the point in your marriage where this is possible, my desire for you is to click here for a marriage tool that will get your marriage back on track. Also share this below, so you can help others!

About the author: By

Julie and Matt have been married for 23+ years and have the belly laughs and wrinkles to prove it! They are also awesome parents to five adopted kiddos and the owner of the How To Fix My Marriage website.

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Disclaimer: We are not psychologists, counselors, or therapists. We are a married couple that has had their share of challenges, and the techniques, tools, and programs we recommend on this site have worked for us on our journey.

Affiliate links may be used within this post for products we recommend. They in no way affect our judgment of said products, nor do they affect the price of the product.