As we grow older, we’re invited to more and more weddings of kids of our friends, and we’ve always had trouble deciding what would be a good wedding gift for them. What can we give them that’s creative, unique, special, and helpful. Plus, it would be an added bonus if it was an inexpensive wedding gift, too.

What to buy, what to buy?

We’re not the kind of people that like to go buy a blender from Target for a couple. That’s just so boring and predictable, and if there’s one thing we’re not, it’s predictable. We also don’t like to give them a gift card or money, because that gets spent and there’s no lasting value, usually. What we really want to give them is a creative wedding gift that will impact them for the rest of their lives, and we believe we’ve found something that will do just that.

One of the tools that we were introduced to by our counselor was a pair of books written by a husband and wife called For Men Only and For Women Only. These are little, 200 page books written to explain to a person how the opposite sex thinks about things. Boy, are they ever an eye-opener! The format is one in which they asked hundreds of people different questions about how they feel about a variety of subjects concerning the opposite sex and then tallied the results, thereby giving a consensus of feelings on that subject.

Include some instructions in the card!

The way we were told to use them was that we were to lay in bed after the day was done, and read to each other! First, the husband would read a chapter out of For Men Only, and then we would discuss what we’d read. The next night, or the next week, the wife would read a chapter out of For Women Only, and we would discuss that chapter. We’d ask each other questions like “Do you feel that way?” or “How strongly to you feel that way?” or “Do women (or men) really think like that???” For us, it gave us an idea about the inner workings of our spouses mind, and helped us to know each other better, which in turn helped us to get along better.

Some of chapters in For Men Only are “Your Real Job Is Closer to Home – How your provider/protector instinct can leave her feeling more unsafe and less cared for”, “Listening Is the Solution – Why her feeling about the problem is the problem, and how to fix your urge to fix”, and “With Sex, Her “No” Doesn’t Mean You – How her desires are impacted by her unique wiring, and why your ego shouldn’t be”.

A sample of For Women Only includes “Your Love is Not Enough – Why your respect means more to him than even your affection”,  “Sex Changes Everything – Why sex unlocks a man’s emotions (Guess who holds the key?!)”, and “Keeper of the Visual Rolodex – Why it’s so natural for him to look and so hard to forget what he’s seen”.

Ouch!

Some of these chapters weren’t so easy to read, or listen to, but in the end they did a great deal of good for our marriage because they dispelled (or confirmed!) some myths that had been swirling around in our heads for years.

Our recommendation is the next time you are looking for a creative wedding gift, invest $20 in the future of the couple, and at the same time pick up a set for yourselves – you won’t be sorry you did!

About the author: By Matt Hellstrom

Matt is the parent (along with his wife Julie) to five wonderful kids. He has been self-employed for 25+ years and is the owner of the How To Fix My Marriage website.

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