Blocks to Marital Intimacy

Blocks to Marital IntimacyIn my marriage, blocks to marital intimacy have come in all shapes and sizes. It is imperative to a healthy overall marriage that intimacy must be on track. But it seems that it also has the most obstacles. Studies have shown that intimacy in a marriage is a combination and culmination of all the healthy relationship attributes. What is wrong must be identified and corrected.

I have always said that once you bring things into the light, they lose their power. So let’s start there. Revealing the things that cause the marital intimacy train to jump the track.

Blocks to Marital Intimacy

10.  Time-

Everyone deals with challenges related to time.  For you it might relate to work schedules, or kids’ bedtimes, or to-do lists.  But let me encourage you to makethe time necessary to share intimate time with your husband.  Work on pushing back the kids’ bedtimes, get the dishes done early or leave them till the morning. Wake him up at midnight for a quickie (yes, he’ll most likely be willing) Nothing is more important than your spouse and his well being.  And how long does a little hanky panky really last anyway?

9. Distractions-

I totally get this one.  And I have to say that I am much more guilty of being distracted than my husband.  He can focus like a laser when he wants to, while I am sensitive to every little sound, whether the kids are actually asleep or just “in bed”, the laundry that’s in piles on the floor, and the stuff I didn’t get done.  But it is worth it to capture those thoughts and bring your mind back to your husband.  Make a joke out of it if you must, and be honest about how challenging it is for you, but work hard to give him your fully attention.

8. Pop-Ups-

Remember this?  Well, I have pop-ups while I’m with my husband that are eerily similar to the VH1 pop-up videos of the 80′s.
Pop-ups relate to #9 except that they really are all in our heads.  Does this sound like a familiar mental scenario for you when your husband is trying to get you in the mood?
Ooh!  I forgot to turn on the dishwasher!
Did Colin remember to take a shower after karate?
Shoot, I didn’t renew the library books.  Now we’ll have a fine.
Is the door locked?
As with distractions, we need to consciously turn off the mental drip drip drip that inevitably takes our attention and remember who is most important.  Try to have a certain time at night when you decide that work is done and you can rest your mind.  Prayer is very helpful and the Spirit will bless our attempts to focus on connecting with our husbands. Read story.

Now that you have identified those barriers, you can replace them with enhancers. I love this simile between a lovely garden and a lovely marriage.

One of the best ways to grow a healthy, beautiful garden is to care for it consistently, including nurturing the soil and guarding against weeds and insects. Similarly, the healthiest marriages are nurtured, protected, and as a result, enjoyed. Skip Heitzig teaches that a biblical point of view for marriage is one where both spouses are offering ongoing care and fulfillment as a major defense against infidelity. This series points out the foundational ways to cultivate a continual intimate relationship with your spouse. Click here to receive complete study.

In the tweet below is a link to more great tips to build and grow that garden.

If you have tips on how you have identified and removed blocks to marital intimacy, please share them below in the comments. Your considerate suggestions and questions, help us all!

 

 

About the author: By

Matt is the parent (along with his wife Julie) to five wonderful kids. He has been self-employed for 25+ years and is the owner of the How To Fix My Marriage website.

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Disclaimer: We are not psychologists, counselors, or therapists. We are a married couple that has had their share of challenges, and the techniques, tools, and programs we recommend on this site have worked for us on our journey.

Affiliate links may be used within this post for products we recommend. They in no way affect our judgment of said products, nor do they affect the price of the product.