About Us

julie-and-matt-leavenworth-2How to fix my marriage. This is a topic that Matt and Julie discussed together many times over the course of the last 20 years. Now, here’s their story about how they’ve done just that (or at least they’re on the journey to success).

Hi! We’re Matt and Julie Hellstrom, and we’re the happily married parents of 5 beautiful, adopted kids. Having 5 kids, especially ones with the special needs of adopted kiddos, is definitely a test for any marriage. Ever notice how dealing with kids tends to bring out the worst in a couple? We have, and we’ve worked for the last 20 years to develop skills and learn ways to help our marriage stay healthy.

Our History

We aren’t psychologists, psychiatrists, or marriage counselors. We’re just an ordinary couple with a desire to have the kind of marriage that God planned for us. Our start wasn’t that great – we’d both been divorced before, and we weren’t equipped by our pasts to be good spouses – or parents, for that matter. When we met, we were both heavily involved in drugs and alcohol, which almost invariably leads to an unsuccessful marriage, and eventually divorce. We eloped and got married in Reno, which didn’t go over well with our families – we really had 2 strikes against us to start out with. Even though we’ve left those days far behind, it didn’t mean that the problems that got us there went away also.

However, we did have one thing going for us – we loved each other, and had the intense desire to make it work. Plus, when we started to adopt kids, we felt that divorce was not an option under any circumstance – in our opinion, it’s too damaging to children. We loved each other, but sometimes that’s not enough to overcome the hurdles of dysfunctional families and previous hurts. Sometimes you need outside help.

Starting Counseling

So about 5 years ago we decided to start going to counseling, and we got hooked up with a wonderful Christian counselor that was an acquaintance of ours from church. It was tough at first – we both wanted to blame the other person for our problems – and it was definitely slow going. At first, our counselor said we were quite often like 2 cats on a griddle – on edge with each other all the time. He also said when we were getting along we were able to accomplish anything, and overcome any obstacle. We’re both Type “A” personalities, and we tend to be very capable if we want to be. Still, there were times when we couldn’t get anything done.

So what did counseling teach us? That there are tools and techniques to use that help you to get along better – mainly by helping us to communicate better. Our desire with this website is to introduce other couples to those techniques, in hopes that they will have the success in not only staying together, but having a fulfilling and wonderful marriage!

The Total Transformation and The Us Factor

As parents, we’ve always tried to learn more and more about parenting, so that we can be the best parents possible. We’re constantly looking for new information and ideas on how to be better parents. Probably the most important tool we’ve stumbled upon (other than the bible) is The Total Transformation Program by James Lehman. If you’re interested, you can learn more about it at our Positive Parenting Skills website and blog.

The reason I mention this is because the creators The Total Transformation have recently released an equally impressive and important product for couples called The Us Factor. We just recently received our copy of the Us Factor, and we’ve are currently in the process of working through it and writing our Us Factor Review.

If you’re trying to make your marriage work – really figure out how to fix your marriage – we recommend reading more about The Us Factor, and finding out for yourself if this is the route you want to take to happiness and joy. In the meantime, please check out our How To Fix My Marriage Blog for all kinds of ideas on how to fix your marriage starting today!

About the author: By

Matt is the parent (along with his wife Julie) to five wonderful kids. He has been self-employed for 25+ years and is the owner of the How To Fix My Marriage website.

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Disclaimer: We are not psychologists, counselors, or therapists. We are a married couple that has had their share of challenges, and the techniques, tools, and programs we recommend on this site have worked for us on our journey.

Affiliate links may be used within this post for products we recommend. They in no way affect our judgment of said products, nor do they affect the price of the product.