What is The Us Factor?
The Us Factor is a new product recently released by the same people who created the mega-popular parenting program called The Total Transformation, and from first glance it appears to be the same type of top-notch product that The Total Transformation is. It’s a product designed to show you how simple little changes can make big improvements in your marriage.
Who’s behind The Us Factor?
The creator of the Us Factor is Dr. Joseph Melnick, a licensed psychologist. Dr. Melnick is a couples and family therapist, organizational consultant and author of numerous articles and book chapters on intimacy, ethics and organizational dynamics.
Dr. Melnick has worked with couples in his private practice for over twenty years. He holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the University of Cincinnati. Currently, he is Co-Chair of the Cape Cod Training Program and a board member of the Gestalt International Study Center. He is Editor-in-Chief of Gestalt Review, a publication that concentrates on the Gestalt approach to clinical, family, group and organizational topics.
Next post – How much does it cost, and what do you get?
Filed under Dr. Joseph Melnick, Marriage, The Us Factor Review 
How much does the Us Factor cost?
The Us Factor is relatively inexpensive, especially if you compare the price to couples counseling (not to say that counseling isn’t an excellent route to go – we’ve been to counseling on and off over the years, and we sincerely believe that without it, we wouldn’t still be together. Dr. Melnick also makes it a point to say in the very first DVD that counseling is extremely beneficial). However, many people don’t want to go to counseling for a variety of reasons, such as the following:
-
They don’t want to expose their lives and/or problems to a stranger.
-
They can’t afford it.
-
They don’t have the time.
Because of these reasons, the Us Factor is very appealing, since you can do this privately, on your own time, in your home. Plus, you only pay a small up-front fee for shipping and handling. You have a 30 day free “test drive” period and if you decide to keep it, they have 3 month payment plan. For complete details about the price, you can click here.
What do you get for your money?
The Us Factor includes the following:
-
12 DVD Lessons
-
A 232 page Workbook
-
800 support access
-
A Free Bonus DVD
This is a very nice, professional looking product contained in a book-like folder, that would look great on your bookshelf. It’s very well done.
Next up – What does the Us Factor teach you?
Filed under Dr. Joseph Melnick, Marriage, The Us Factor Review
What exactly does the Us Factor teach you? In other words, what kind of information do you get?
As we review this product, and go through it ourselves, we’ll continue to add posts to this category. We’ve just finished watching the first DVD, and I can truthfully say I’m impressed and excited to see more. The Day One DVD is an Introduction to the Us Factor, and it pretty much mirrors much of what I’ve learned in counseling. One of the first things we noticed was that Dr. Melnick has the couples facing each other and not him – this might not seem like a big deal, but I think it goes to show that he’s concerned with them working together, not working through him. Subtle, but important.
His philosophy comes out right away – small changes can make a big difference in your marriage, and marriage is an ongoing event where you have to practice skills to succeed. The goal of the Us Factor is to teach us those skills. He gives an example of a teenager driving a car – you’re not just going to give them the keys and say “Go at it!” You’re going to teach them the skills they need first, then send them out into the world. Marriage is the same way. All too often, we get into marriage because of love, then when the love fades, we don’t have the skills to keep it going. These skills are what we’re going to learn from Dr. Melnick.
He continues the analogy of the car-driving teenager – love is like driving from Maine to California – when it starts you get lucky and get all the way there without any problems. But when you start to come back to Maine, that’s when you run into storms, bad roads, and everything else that can hamper your trip. It’s now that you need the skills you learned in driving school!
This is just a taste of what’s discussed in the first DVD. From one with experience, I think the Us Factor is going to be a great product to help people save their marriage, or make it better.
Filed under Dr. Joseph Melnick, Marriage, The Us Factor Review
As we work through the Us Factor Program, I thought it would be useful to write a little review of the Workbook, so you know what that particular piece of the program is like.
The workbook is 232 pages, and it contains recaps or summaries of every one of the DVD sessions. It shows pictures of the different couples that are featured in the session, and it has a transcript of the dialogue between them. In addition, it also summarizes Dr. Melnick’s advice on the particular subject.
The one thing that the workbook has that the DVD’s don’t have is what he calls “Awareness Exercises”. At the end of most sections is a little exercise for the couple to do so they can internalize the lesson.
For example, there is a section called “Top Dog – Underdog” that concerns two roles that partners take in a relationship. One partner takes on the role of the organizer, the planner, the one who makes things happen. This is the “top dog”, the responsible one who focuses on shoulds and should nots, the rule maker. The other partner is the Underdog – the one who doesn’t follow the rules and wants quick fun and satisfaction.
The lesson in the workbook describes this kind of behavior, it shows a transcript of a couple acting this out, and has an awareness exercise. In the exercise, the couple sits across from each other, and they have a conversation in which one becomes the “top dog” and the other becomes the “underdog”. The top dog talks about the “shoulds” and “should nots” and stays primarily focused on the future. The underdog talks about the “I wants” and the “let’s do’s” and focuses mainly on the present. Once you’ve had the conversation for a little while, you talk about how it feels to be in that role.
Then, you reverse the roles and have a conversation in the opposite role, and after that discuss what it was like to reverse the roles.
I really like this part of the workbook, because it gives you a chance to “role play” and see how the other person feels.
It almost seems to me that you could just go through the workbook and not have to watch the DVD’s except for one very important thing: it’s good to see the couples interact in person, as it helps you to relate to what’s going on. Plus, Dr. Melnick goes into more detail in the DVD lesson. Therefore, I think it’s important while going through The Us Factor to follow his instructions, that is to watch the DVD, then go through that section of the workbook that pertains to the DVD, doing the awareness exercises as you encounter them.
- One of the things that Dr. Melnick talks about in the Us Factor is staying on your own side of the line, or as our counselor says, staying on your own side of the street. Here’s an example of what this means, taken from our life just this morning!
One thing Matt and I have learned is how to stay off each other’s side of the street. Let me explain.
This morning I was going to go for a walk and was deciding if I should take my cell phone, our constantly ringing business line. I asked my honey when he was going to shower because if he wasn’t going to until I came back, he could answer the phone, otherwise it was coming with me. He said “right away” and I said “ok I will take my phone”. Then (pay attention here) he said “well I can wait until you get back and answer your phone.”
Now that all sounds like he’s being kind, right? Wrong. I didn’t ask him to make my decision, I just needed facts so I could make it. If I decided I really didn’t want to take my phone, I would have then asked him (hopefully as I struggle with being passive/aggressive!!!) if he would mind waiting. His telling me to go was being on my side of the street and I felt like I was being parented.
Thankfully, we backed up, laughed and I asked him if he wouldn’t mind waiting. And he graciously agreed. He also could have asked me if I wanted him to wait, still my decision. We’re all adults here!
Filed under Dr. Joseph Melnick, Marriage, Marriage Tips, Relationship habits, The Us Factor Review
